Anxious. I suppose that is the most accurate word for how I felt each time I would open my seminary email inbox. I was searching, hunting, holding my breath, waiting for that email that would impart some small sense of stability and wisdom that would help me make it through my first intensives.
And then it came- but it was not alone. No, a gaggle came. Ones about housing in the dorms and what to bring to make life more comfortable, ones about meals and where to go at 2 am when desperate for company, coffee or even a beer to relax after hours of frantic studying. Others were about the schedule, about rules generally unspoken but wise to follow, written through sage experience of those who have gone before us.
They were mixed in with my reservation confirmation and links to local necessities. But the peace I thought would come from this wave of wisdom was a wash. Instead I am now wired. A little afraid, mostly excited and utterly overwhelmed with scenarios running through my inexperienced brain.
Those little emails have more in them than I care to acknowledge at the moment. I have 6 or 7 books to read right now for classes in preparation and both syllabus are finally in my hand. I have meals to make for my family, lists of contacts to type up, household function lists to arrange, oh my.... my stomach churns and my tummy flips over the amount of preparation and not a whit of it will really help me when I get there.
I cannot take it back now though. I have the wsidom of the ages, well at least the last 4 cohorts, in my hot little hands (read: laptop) and I am now charged with making it happen. May the grace of God bless my words, thoughts, actions and experience. Here we go....
And then it came- but it was not alone. No, a gaggle came. Ones about housing in the dorms and what to bring to make life more comfortable, ones about meals and where to go at 2 am when desperate for company, coffee or even a beer to relax after hours of frantic studying. Others were about the schedule, about rules generally unspoken but wise to follow, written through sage experience of those who have gone before us.
They were mixed in with my reservation confirmation and links to local necessities. But the peace I thought would come from this wave of wisdom was a wash. Instead I am now wired. A little afraid, mostly excited and utterly overwhelmed with scenarios running through my inexperienced brain.
Those little emails have more in them than I care to acknowledge at the moment. I have 6 or 7 books to read right now for classes in preparation and both syllabus are finally in my hand. I have meals to make for my family, lists of contacts to type up, household function lists to arrange, oh my.... my stomach churns and my tummy flips over the amount of preparation and not a whit of it will really help me when I get there.
I cannot take it back now though. I have the wsidom of the ages, well at least the last 4 cohorts, in my hot little hands (read: laptop) and I am now charged with making it happen. May the grace of God bless my words, thoughts, actions and experience. Here we go....
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